Channel 3000: Mazomanie Beach, known by locals as a nude beach, will be closed to public use beginning immediately, the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources said Tuesday. The DNR said it will close approximately 140 acres of the 46,000-acre property, but not because of nudity. “What we’re talking about is illegal drug use as well as public sexual activity going on at the beach,” said Brian Hefty, with the DNR. Hefty said the department’s repeated efforts to assuage problems in the area for more than a decade have made little impact. Further, the illegal activity has kept prospective users from visiting the beach. “This is one of Wisconsin’s most beautiful spots, and the citizens of Wisconsin ought to be able to visit the sight and be comfortable doing so,” Hefty said.

First thing’s first here – Was it common knowledge that there was a nude beach near Madison? Not that laying in the sand bare-ass is something I could ever do, but you’d still think it’s something I would’ve at least heard about at some point. Either way, it seems pretty obvious that people would start having sex at a nude beach, right? You just can’t expect a bunch of naked people to gather in one place and then keep their distance from one another. Personally I always thought nude beaches were just a European thing, but I also just assumed that it was like one big orgy anyway – And I think that’s the way you have to think about nude beaches. There can’t be rules and regulations for people who show up butt naked to the same place where little kids go to build sand castles.  Maybe if the DNR would’ve had that same outlook then they wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place.