TMJ: A Madison man has won the right to wear a spaghetti strainer on his head in his driver’s license photo. The Department of Transportation has instructed all DMV offices to recognize colanders as religious headwear after receiving a letter from the man’s lawyer. Derek Allen says his client is a Pastafarian and was denied his religious right as a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, first established in 2005. “If you just hear about it in passing it sounds silly – someone wants to wear a spaghetti strainer in their driver’s license,” Allen says. “It’s easy to brush off as something silly but I think the principal behind it is an important one.”

I don’t know how to solve all the problems in this world, but I know that this is one of em – We’ve gotten to the point where everybody and every belief and every lifestyle has to be so universally accepted that people can whine their way into wearing spaghetti strainers on their head in driver’s license pictures. We’re so worried about being politically correct and not offending anyone that the government can’t even tell this guy that he’s an idiot, because then they’ll be facing a lawsuit. I agree that black lives matter and I think gay marriage should be recognized everywhere, but I draw the line at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

On the flip side, if this is gonna be legal now, I might have to think about wearing a spaghetti strainer on my head too. My license expires within the next year so I’m gonna need to get a new one soon, and any regular ugly person knows that the DMV is always gonna take the worst possible picture. At least a dish on my head would be distracting.